The Mom Blog That’s Not a Mom Blog
I got pregnant July 2018, after a little over a year of trying, and immediately realized I wouldn’t fit into the “mom crowd.” One of the reasons was because I would never, in a million years, describe myself as a/an [insert adjective] mom. There’s “fit moms,” “craft moms,” “working mom,” “baking moms,” “natural moms,” “fashionista moms,” “nursing mommas,” “babies mommas”……(in full transparency, I came up with those off the top of my head, but I’m 93.4% sure they all exist). Yes, I’m a mom, but I am also so many other things and, as such, my identity is in no way solely hinged on motherhood + one other thing. That said, I also have a knack for, as my brother says, “keepin it real”, when it comes to pregnancy and child gardening. So with his, and many others’, constant encouragement, I finally caved in and started a blog. But it’s definitely NOT in a mom blog.
By that I mean, this is meant to be a collection of my real stories and experiences as a mom. They’re not sugar-coated and fluffed up to fit into a certain prescriptive norm for what moms should or shouldn’t say (warning: I will cuss/curse/swear without asking for my French to be forgiven). I won’t be steering away from controversial topics and I’ll probably talk crap about my kid from time to time.
Who Am I?
Ugh…one of the most existential question ever, right? Well, I’ll keep it as basic as I can.
I am Black, queer, and cisgender female. I married to a phenomenal woman, who is White, with whom I have a biracial son. I was born, and currently live, in Southern California, but I have also lived in Wisconsin, Atlanta, Brooklyn (BK in the building!), and I spent the formative years of 6th-8th grade in Japan (military brat). While I am what people love to “endearingly” call I first-time mom (we know it’s never endearing), I have been caring for children for a LONG time. It started with volunteering and babysitting work around 11, then all throughout high school, my mom had a home daycare for which I served as the Assistant (unpaid). We had 12 kids aged newborn to 10 years. Not to mention the cousins and siblings who were having children all around me and entrusting me to care for them solo, on overnight trips and all! So I am a first-time mom, but not a first-time-around-a-kid person.
Finally, I am a researcher. I have a PhD in developmental psychology…let me explain that for those of you who refuse to use your Google machine. Developmental psychology is the scientific study of how and why human beings change over the course of their life, specifically it looks at physical development, cognitive development (mental processes), and social/emotional development. As such, I arguably have a bit more “academic” expertise in this whole childhood whelm than a lot of other bloggers on this topic. But, an important BUT, I’m not a clinical child psychologist…I cannot, nor will I attempt, to diagnose anyone’s child.
All of these things make me who I am and will inevitably impact what goes into and onto this blog; I can’t take one out–the batter is already mixed. My hope is that by having an intelligent, down-to-earth representation of parenthood out there, others will find a little bit of themselves in this blog that is definitely…